She once said...

Sat, 26 Aug 2006 03:13:46 GMT

i wish everyone the amount of happiness I have right now!!!!!!!!

I miss my boyfriend dearly... only 7 more days!! Labor Day Weekend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I want everyone to know that he is the best guy ever. and I hope everyone in the world can find happiness in someone.. and find someone to treat them well and make them feel the way he makes me feel!

=]=]=]=]=]=]=]=]=]=]=]=]=]=]=]=]=]

<3<3<3<3

<3

Fri, 18 Aug 2006 04:30:12 GMT

I love life.

new job.

amazing boyfriend.

FANTASTIC SUMMER!!

but...

I dread next tuesday night. =(

time for another update

Fri, 07 Jul 2006 20:07:10 GMT

so i was reading my last update and realized i really need to update.

So work is now taken over my life for sure. I work all the damn time. all the time. I guess I can't complain.. because $$.
So i definatly don't work at the greenhouse/farm and more. wuit there. I got the job at Boca Tanning (25 and Shelby)

yeah summer is fun I love it. I just wish I had more time for friends lately. I feel like such a party pooper. because I either don't go out or come home early b/c i have to wake up and be at work at 7 the next morning. and then work at 14 hour day. so i guess it's an excuse.

this weekend is gunna be hectic..
-Tonight : Possibly movies with sister and sister-in-law.
-Tomorrow : Two grad parties/then bacholrette party/then g-ma's for the night
-Sunday: church. .. i think that's it

This week
work 7am - 4 pm MOnday - Friday
Monday and Wednesday Work @ Boca 5 pm - 9 pm

Saturday 15th MY BIRTHDAY and my cousin's wedding =] yay! good day/night

then the next week i dont work in the mornings. soo that will be a party week, k? pso i will see everyone =]
probobly another bonfire and then another wild night minus MO. aww

OHHHH yeah and my aunt is going out of town this weekend and NEXT weekend. so that's pretty much what I will be doing. ahaha lots o parties.

Oh and hopefully soon I'll be hanging out with Jason soon I'm just so busy. grr... hmm three years? haha. It's cool talking to him again.

Dan and i are getting better. No more drama. Hopefully this will work out and we can go back to how things were BEFORE we dated. best buds. hopefully i miss him alot.

hahaha Katy had a damn animal in her glove box.. of her Jeep Wrangler and it ate up her insurance and registration and owners manual. haha. poor girl thought she was gunna come aross a dead mouse in the dark or even better an alive one.

I've watched alot of movies lately.. what else is new?
I still have 1 and a half left.

MY car is a peice. I mean I <3 sugar daddy to death.. but I had to take him into the shop yesterday. But he is def. better now. My dad tell's me I work him too hard.

I'm sunburnt from work.. laying out and being in the pool all day with the girl I babysit... its crazy.

what a life.

well loves... comment or something or call me if you think you can squeeze in sometime with me.. =) love yas!

Update

Sat, 24 Jun 2006 14:55:26 GMT

Everything is Fantastic! Everything.

THis summer has been amazing. amazing. amazing. so far.

I mean a few things could be better, but I'm not complaining.

So my work business could be getting very complicated soon.. because if I get the job at Boca then I need to cut hours at Altermatt's. I talked to my boss yesterday and told her about the possibility of me having another job.. and she was like, "If you want more hour I'll give them to you" and then she kind of begged me to stay for the farm season too (3 months). But I dont know, we'll see what happens. And babysitting is pretty sweet. I get to layout and swim all day b/c that's all the girl wants to do. Schaweet

I've seen so many people this summer it is crazy, but there are a few I will definatly be partying with soon.

Yeah I think Ishboo is like dead or something. dude call me

ANd Alana leaves tuesday for Flordia.... =[ I'm so sad. She is leaving me forever. gosh... i still can't believe it.. I've known this girl forever and a day. ugh it sucks. Her going away party on thursday definatly didnt feel like a going away party at all. I dunno. It was fun though

umm yeah. what else? grad parties up the ass lately. I mean my gosh. I can't make it to alot of peoples because of work and/or other grad parties.

Any way i lost my updtaing motivation..

peace playas

In General

Wed, 14 Jun 2006 01:24:42 GMT

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr to people.

just grrrr. im annoyed.

Also, in general, people need to come up with better excuses. Like I don't know, I just don't like lame excuses.

School is almost out.. praise the lord... im not really looking forward to one specific thing this summer like i knind of was.. but i dont think i am anymore.

this better be a good summer.

It IS true that some things are too good to be true. I believe it.

This weekend shall be grand. I'm gunna see someone I haven't seen in a long long time. =] yay! no joy rides this time. hahahahahaha. whoops, my bad. And now I know it is ok for it to happen. haha

I miss katy.. I haven't seen her in a while.. with her poopey work. and when she isnt working, I'm working since we have the same job. Well maybe not for long =]

Talking about that... oh goodness. im scared to quit. yikes. my bosses are so intimatating.

I love my friends alot. ALOT.

Adam your awesome.. thanks for coming in so early this morning to see my sing and well just to come and visit people. your beautiful. I swear this summer I'm hooking you up with him for sure. I'm gunna make it happen... I owe it to you ;]

Summer just started 3 month of a good time. 3 month mind you.. alot can happen in three months.

(some people are dumb.)

Now I'm only saying this because I've heard complaints from alot of girls lately about the same things when it comes to guys so let's make it known and I'm not just pin-pointing one person here..... this could apply to girls too. and gay men/soon to be gay men (haha) too
- guys be better with communicating.. yes girls need to improve there too but guys really need ALOT of improvement.
- If you like a girl(guy)... you like her(him).. don't make lame excuses of why it won't work.
- Live in the moment. Stop stressing about what could be or might me.. those damn what ifs
- Don't play games.. they confuse things.. and some times do the opposite of what your trying to acheive.
- ok fine.. play games... but there is a point where it is too much
- If you break up with some one...or been broken up with, it's not a contest of who moves on first. That's dumb
- make sure you know what you want or are willing to sacrafice(time wise) for someone before you start things... because leading some one on is not fair.. I've done it and I apologize to that person too.
- Just have fun and live in the moment.. that's all that matters. Don't take everything so seriously.. I mean be careful having fun but just have careful fun.
- People who have experimented with both sexes.. my god it's not that big of a deal. No one's gunna like you less and it doesnt change the fact that you like someone and they like you back. It's just an experiment some people may find it weird.. but if they really like you they will put it behind them. And if you may want to experiment do it .. if you dont like stop. end of story. Personally I've never done it... but I'm just not curious... I like guys.. alot.
- Make sure you're really honest with the person you like or whatever. Honesty makes things easier.
- Guys don't be assholes.. sometimes it somes too naturally.
- you know you want him.. stop pretending you dont.. I swear the story will come true. it will.
- If someone calls you and they aren't getting a hint.. call them back and you clear things up. Don't be difficult. Unless it was clearly a One night sort of thing.
- And if it was clearly a one night thing... take the hint when they dont return your phone calls... be smart
- If you're going to "chill" tell the other person you're going to be "chilling" or you drize them crazy. Jsut have some decency. It's called respect.
- Stop being dumb and just enjoy things while they can happen.
- If things are bothering you.. tell the person about it so they can try and maken it better.
- IT's summer HAVE FUN!!!! oh and be careful (haha) play it safe

And as mike and I were talking.. Just chilling is better because when you're not chilling.. you're not chill. and that's not good.
^^^what a philosphy.

THe only thing I can look forward to next year is NYC. but that's cooler than anything else. That meeting got me really pumped tonight!!! Oh and well visiting my cousin up at State (how am I gunna deal with her gone away. oh god. im gunna die.) now that Katy is back here(thankgod).. and then I can see everyone else too.... =) But NYC BABY! It's gunna be amazing. and also the fact that I know I'm gunna get even closer with all the people I love.. it's scary to think how close we are all gunna be. yay! I love you guys.

And this is absolutely ridiculous... especially that i have to even mention it.. but people and their top 8-24's. Chill out its not that big a deal.. don't stress about yours or other peoples.. they don't love you anyless if you're not number#1 in there top or even on there at all. wow.

I love chai tea... I've drank a hell of alot this past week. I've been to Caribou every day so far. They are amazing.

Exams are almost over. yay. BIO tomorrow... and then maath and Vj on thursday. well our rave on thursday come to 6th hour the ECC. it's gunna be INSANE. no joke. too much thought process put into it. oh well we are dorks.

Summer please come to me

Cedar Point
CAMPING =]=]=]=]=]=]=]=]=]=]=]=]=]
Goo Goo Dolls and Counting Crows Concert
partying.. mmmm
movie nights. wooo.

<3 love yous. Sorry for the long post

=] =] =] =] =] =] =] =] =] =]

Wed, 31 May 2006 21:33:12 GMT

"Touch me where I'm rusty. Let me stain your hands."

UPDATE :

thumbs up for everything. (and not like that Jennnnnn)
except seniors leaving friday. ooohh poo. and for the last VJ ever... TOMORROW. =[
ohh boy here we go.

Oh yeah, and speaking of Vj... Most likely to be on a Soap Opera. What?? Is there some sort of explination? you guys are weird (or as Fo might say "DUMB") and I love you guys more than everything in the world combined.

And Adamn wins "My Favorite" award.. because what you did for SC was the cutest thing anyone has ever done. We fit together like ramma lamma lamma ka dinkity puzzle peices? haha wow. sorry for that one. anyway, that was that extra note sweetest note anyone has every written me, by the way.

My math grade has gone up!!! YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BUT it will go down after that quiz today.. ouch.

S&E was hilarious today. ahhahahahahha One of the birthday presents I gave Gianna was pulled out and well ahahahahah hilarious. THat was awesome and I love you kids. Condoms and gummy bears. ahhaa

Friday shall be fantastic AFTER i get off work because im hanging out with Jeffery! =] and that voice mail last night was wayyy cute. =] (the first one)

Im excited for Tera and her new era (T-era) yay! congrats, my dear.

I think it would be for the better if I don't make a comment or even have any emotions about them PISTONS. we will see.

13 days left of school including weeks. ahhhh summer. i can taste it.

WICKED WEDNESDAY. oh yeah baby. june 7th, Masonic Temple here i come.

dude, EVERYONE is HAPPY!!! and for those who arent, jump on the bandwagon because it is awesome.

That's all folks.
love yous. bye

yeah for surveys

Fri, 26 May 2006 01:38:08 GMT

WOULD YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS:
1) Sneak into a rated R movie?: no.
2) Sleep in the same bed? yes.
3) Rob a bank?: no
4) Team up together and kill someone? no thanks.

IN YOUR ROOM:
1) Do you have a wood floor or carpet?: wood floor. but i have cool rugs.
2) Are your walls painted bright colors?: no just a dark tan-ish
3) Do you have artwork hanging up on the walls?: yes, EVERYWHERE
4) Do you have clothes on the floor?: yes i do
5) Do you have stuffed animals?: heck yes i do
6) Do you have a hidden stash of candy somewhere? no
7) Do you and your friends spend most of the time there? umm no.. only special friends ;)
8) Do you have your own TV?: no i removed, becuase it was pointless.
9) Do you have over 100 CDs?: maybe?
10) Do you have a bunch of pictures of bands and celebrities: no

WOULD YOU EVER:
1) Would you ever sing a solo?: Only on a stage. but if your lucky i might sing for you... special. but i would need bribes.
2) Take an hour-long shower?: Of course.
3) Smoke pot just to be cool? no
4) Make a mean myspace for someone you hate?: oh myspace, how we love you. umm no that would be a waste of time. plus i don't HATE anyone.
5) Spend all night on homework?: oh, i've been there

DO YOU LIKE:
1) More than one person?: nah. more than one can get complicated.
3) Daisies?: gerbera daisies =) they make me smile. ok im a dork. I work at a green house. get over it.
4) To paint your fingernails?: i don't really like to but sometimes.
5) Music?: ummm is that a real question, who doesnt? i think im in love with it
6) Black raspberry ice cream?: is that even real?
8) The beach?: oh yes i do
9) Cats?: i have one. and she is fun to cuddle with =)

NOW
Is your hair up?: umm yes
Is your phone right beside you? no.
Do you miss someone?: not really. I talk to everyone i love. oh and well i see some "missing" in my near future. ohh poo on you seniors
Do you wish you were somewhere else?: yes... in candy land
Do you have plans for tonight? watching the game
Are you wearing makeup?: mascara.
Are you wearing chapstick?: i havent applied it in about an hour. but my lips are still nice and smooth :*
Are you cold?: no its really hot
Are you tired?: kinda sorta
Are you excited?: for a 4 day weekend. umm yes
Are you watching t.v.?: yes the game
Who's the last person you IMed?: Mike bobick
Who's the last person that called you?: jeff bobick

PAST
Recently done anything you regret?: nope
Ever lied?: yeah
Ever trip over your own feet?: yes sir
Ever had your nails done?: yes its a good time
Ever thrown up because you cried so hard?: no thank god. i hate throwing up. not fun

LAST WEEK
Have any plans last week?: yes many.
Have you cursed?: yes i am a sinner.
Have you yelled at someone? hmmm maybe my mom
Have you cried?: yes.
Have you called more than 3 people?: yes.

1. First thing you did this morning?: hit the snooze
2. Is your cell phone a piece of crap?:to some yes.. but to me it is golden. because it works and has signal
3. What's something you look forward to in the next 6 weeks?: umm summer and all the good times that are in my near future

hate this

Wed, 17 May 2006 01:38:06 GMT

Don't you hate when ...
- you feel like everything in your life is just sucking? Like nothing is going right?
- things you know you shouldnt let get to you, get to you
- one person complains about how you and them never hangout because they are SO busy... but yet they are making time for other people and dont even have the time to call you.
- someone promises you they will stop doing something and then breaks the promise and does it and then lies to you about doing it. And the best part is when they tell the truth.
- when someone knows how much this one thing means to you and upsets them and then tells you that its not a big deal.
- you feel stuck and there is no way to get unstuck
- you know things will be changing soon and you really hate the idea of things being different, especially at this time of your life
- you find yourself getting angry at the ones you love for no apparent reason
- you realize how many people you've lost contact with
- you know your thinking too much for your own good but you can't stop
- the people you need aren't there
- people do things just because they know it will upset you and make you mad
- you find out that you thought you knew someone, but you really never knew them at all
- you know things will get better.. but they aren't better yet
- you feel overly-emotional when telling people how you feel because you never tell anoyone anything
- you honestly don't know what to do or what your next move should be
- the phone rings, but it's not who you think it is
- when someone says they care, but like who the fuck are they kidding
- your job is keeping you from your family
- your phone is a douche bag and then your aim decides it doesnt want to sign on and you really just want to talk to someone about anything
- your livejournal post are ridiculous
- summer is so close but yet so far away
- your best friend is on the other side of the country
- when you really one to hangout with that one person.. but then when your available they aren't.

yeah i hate that

Just some randomness......

Sun, 07 May 2006 14:12:24 GMT

So the cruise was awesome. I love Spring Break. My tan faded really really fast. f that.

So the school year is coming to an end. yay! School sucks anyway.

Im way excited that all my loves are home from college. yay for good times this summer.
Katy has an apartment like 2 miles from my home. and well thats awesome.

I still dont have a voice completely. so bummer.

Dan and I are just friends no more. So I'm glad. everything is good.

Family is family.

Work is fun. Dirty, but fun. I dont work today! so yay!

I got up at 7 today without an alarm clock. wow. i think its a sign I'm getting too much sleep.

My new cousins are freaking adorable. I love babies.

I havent been to the movies in ages. literally.

I have to write an outline today... that sucks.. oh and catch up in math. (good thing i didnt work)

I think I'm gunna be going to see Jason Mraz with Gwen and Adam on May 18th.. oh boy! yay!

I love everyone

Sun, 16 Apr 2006 03:32:50 GMT

Good bye loves. I'm off in a few a hours to get on that plane to get on that boat to get to those islands. =) i will miss you all. I love you. talk to you in like a week. Monday ;) I hope everyone has a fun and safe break!

thanks to jennnnnnnnnnnnnn...... here you go

Sun, 26 Mar 2006 22:54:08 GMT

Sorry i dont know how to link so you all are gunna have to take this all at once
Terrible Two's:

Two Names You Go By
1. Ann
2. 2me

Two Parts of Your Heritage
1. Irish =) (be jealous)
2. German

Two things that scare you
1. death
2. losing control (and i mean that in every which way)

Two of Your Everyday Essentials
1. light (i prefer natural light)
2. people

Two Things You Are Wearing Right Now
1. jeans
2. brown sweater

Two of Your Favorite Bands or Musical Artists
1. jason mraz
2. Secondhand Seranade

Two of Your Favorite Hobbies
1. friends/partying/watching movies
2. singing

Two Things You Want Really Badly
1. a hug
2. a penis for just one day(dont get me started on this one)

Two Places You Want to go on Vacation
1. ireland
2. austrailla

Two Things You Want to Do Before You Die
1. love someone i truly love and i can make happy
2. sexual intercourse (hahaha) i cant die without the experience

Two Things You Are Thinking About Now
1. how excited i am that spring is here
2. how much i hate homework

Two Stores You Shop At
1. i like to buy jeans at Pac Sun or American Eagle
2. Target

Two people you haven't talked to in a while
1. Steph
2. Lauren

Two favorite web sites
1. myspace
2. milf-hunters.. (muahahaha)

Two Favorite Sports
1. i love to watch basketball
2. i love to play volleyball

Two People who will fill this out
1. who ever wants to
2. and Jenn already did

Two things you did last night
1. babysat and went to see dan
2. had an awesomely long conversation with an awesomely cool person

Two shows you like to watch
1. CSI
2. whatever is good and on when im watching tv

Two places you like to go to:
1. anywhere outside.
2. i like to go where the party's at

Two Favorite People:
1. hmm this could be dangerous
2. so there are more than two and I cant pick

Two Favorite Subjects In School:
1. Vocal Jazz (choir in general)
2. mr brzezinskis class.. ohh mr B.

Two Favorite Places to eat:
1. PF CHangs
2. Wendys

Two People that live in your house:
1. Mom
2. Dad

Two things you like about yourself (physical):
1. lips
2. collar bone.. weird yes but i like it

Two things you ate today:
1. my dad made me breakfast.. eggs, sausage =)
2. technically i ate goldfish today too.. haha if 4 in the morning counts

Two people you last talked to:
1. dad
2. mom

Two Things You're doing tomorrow:
1. school =/
2. maybe something else fun too

Sun, 19 Feb 2006 16:41:38 GMT

wow.. i jst realized how much i neglect this whole livejournal family. i apologize i love you guys!!!

im back and here to stay.

I love life

Something You May Not Know About Me

Fri, 06 Jan 2006 02:14:50 GMT

I'm really picky when it comes to lettuce. Like extremely picky.

I'll Be Okay

Wed, 28 Dec 2005 04:24:07 GMT

It's time to let you go
It's time to say goodbye
There's no more excuses
No more tears to cry

There's been so many changes
I was so confused
All along you were the one
All the time I never knew

I want you to be happy
You're my best friend
But it's so hard to let you go now
All that could have been
I'll always have the memories
She'll always have you
Fate has a way of changing
Just when you don't want it to

Throw away the chains
Let love fly away
Till love comes again
I'll be okay

Life passes so quickly
You gotta take the time
Or you'll miss what really matters
You'll miss all the signs
I've spent my life searching
For what was always there
Sometimes it will be too late
Sometimes it won't be fair

I won't give up
I won't give in
I can't recreate what just might have been
I know that my heart will find love again
Now is the time to begin

[Chorus]

I can't hold on forever baby
I'll be okay

I can take a hint and Stop trying, but I'd rather here the straight truth

Wed, 28 Dec 2005 04:05:38 GMT

An old friend said. "the wicked receive happiness, and i receive despair." I couldnt have said it better myself.

"take it back. take it all back. And take your list and rip it up because it means nothing anymore. I really do hope your happy. All i've ever wanted for you is happiness"

I got it

In Loving Memory Of Jason R. Gonzales. September 29, 1986 to December 1, 2005

Wed, 14 Dec 2005 01:26:28 GMT

My tears, for you, leaving my cheeks so wet.
You've taken your life forever. Just BAM!
No air. No words. You, I will not forget.

No reason you left. Just confusion we get.
Your casket I go. "Excuse me Madam."
My tears, for you, leaving my cheeks so wet.

I will not forget the first night we met.
That night. That kiss. PLease tell me why. God Damn!
No air. No words. You, I will not forget.

It's not your face I see in the casket.
It can't be true. Reality's a slam.
My tears, for you, leaving my cheeks so wet.

New thigns were happening. Your life was set.
Where did things go wrong? I was here. I am.
No air. No words. You I will not forget.

You cannot even live in the regret.
One desicion. No turning back. Why cram?
My tears, for you, leaving my facfe so wet.
No air. No words. You I will not forget.

Sat, 03 Dec 2005 22:02:02 GMT

RIP
Jason R. Gonzales
Forever In Our Hearts

Wed, 30 Nov 2005 01:25:15 GMT

Do you honestly have nothing better to do then try and ruin my life. Just stop with your bullshit. Nothing I do affects you. stop acting like your 5 and you need to tattle on your sister every spare moment you have. THe more you do this the more we seperate. Find out whats more important to you, being a snitch or being a sister. You tell me because every step you take in the direction your headed the more an anger grows inside of me. Nothing your doing it "wrong". but grow up. Any other sibling I have doesnt go and tell mommy and daddy what a bad girl I am they handle it themselves and dont drag mom and dad into it. No one was there making your highschool years a bitch because their true siblings. they dont find pleasure in being a back stabber. Everything your doing it pushing you farther away and them closer. I find it so funny how you go around telling others what you do and how you got me in trouble when in returen they come to me and are like "what bitch" please ask anyone but mom and dad if your out of line. anyone. oh but maybe their to afraid to say your a bitch to your face. but im not. Ok ill accept my faults but live your own life and stay out of mine.

How about you copy and paste this one and email it to mom. go ahead

"Class your going to need Nortons and BREASTS.**cough*cough** I mean paper"

Wed, 16 Nov 2005 02:38:45 GMT

"The stars awaken a certian reverence, because though always present, they are always inaccessible; but all natural objects make a kindred impression, when the mind is open to their influence. Nature never wears a mean apperance. Neither does the wisest man extort all her secret, and lose his wise spirit. the flowers, the animals, the mountains, reflected all the wisdom of his best hour, as much as they had delighted the simplicity of his childhood." - Emerson

So english has been calming lately. I think its our talks about nature, cuz we all know about how crazy i am about nature.
Yes Dennis I do hug trees, and yes i do hump trees. ? Yes.

Tree porn exsists. no lie. I search it for all you curious people.

Well life kind of sucks lately.. but I dont want to dwell in my problems that I have no conrtol over.. I will smile and be me. becuase that's what i do best. My friends need me especically my bestie here at home.

WEll KATY is coming home this weekend and spending it with me!!! YAY! i love her and miss her so much. ahh life with out her is so bogus. ahhh.

School is lame. eww.

Vocal Jazz has my heart and so do all me Vjers. ahhh i love them all. "Sleep over everyone but you you and you. or all the seniors and ann" aww i love you guys. Last nights performance blowed but oh well it was good considering the circumstances. We are awesome and this year is going to be amazing with you guys. We are going to make awesome memories. ahhh I love you guys, you make my day... everyday. with the help of a few others. Oh i jjsut remember we are starting dance of the sugarplum fairy tomorrow yes!!!! "PLUM" ahhhh im so excited.

Anyway, Grounded life is so-so. not too bad. Considering im home alone alot so i use the phone then. I just miss having daily long ass phone convos with my buds. ahhhh. Well at least the phone bills will be lower this month.

I get my hair cut tomorrow. AHHH. YES FINALLY. =)

um ok night night love yous

im a fucking failure.

Wed, 09 Nov 2005 23:50:13 GMT

Goodbye world, my life is officaly over. I suck at life. I've hurt the people closest to me. and to them am sorry. really sorry

My feelings finally put into words.

Fri, 14 Oct 2005 01:16:58 GMT

Holy shit... Ana your update opened my feelings into words.. thank you for that. Its kind of nice to finally be able to see how i've been feeling in words. This couldnt be more exact. Its almost scary.

Amen to this.... :

"I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm always giving and always caring and always being taken advantage of. I just never want to feel this way again. I don't want to see you, look at you it just irritates the hell out of me. I just want to go back and isolate myself from everyone because that's the only way I won't put myself in these situations. This year seriously sucks. I fucking hate it. And especially how I'll try to be optimistic about shit and it just ends up falling apart even more. I hate being the one to want to try to keep things together when no one else obviously gives a shit. I hate caring about shit that I shouldn't care about. I hate feeling like I'm not worth the time of day. I hate being insecure about myself. I don't want to talk about it anymore but I feel like it's the only way I'll be able to feel even the least bit better about anything. I don't understand why everything has to be so important to me and has to bother me. Why can't I be a fucking asshole and not fucking care? It would be alot easier considering I wouldn't end up feeling this way. I want to meet someone that is sincere and someone that won't let me down. It just seems like every day is the same shit over and over again. Walking around and pretending that I feel okay and that I really don't. Maybe I will just never be satisfied but I know that I'm not a hard person to please at all. Lately it just feels like I am getting trampled over constantly. I don't want to feel like this again. And maybe next time I won't open up so quickly and trust people so much."

Wed, 05 Oct 2005 01:39:58 GMT

I have no control anymore

Wed, 28 Sep 2005 00:55:18 GMT

You need a friend
I'll be around
Don't let this end
Before I see you again
What can I say to convince you
To change your mind of me?

I'm going to love you more than anyone
I'm going to hold you closer than before
And when I kiss your soul, your body'll be free
I'll be free for you anytime
I'm going to love you more than anyone

Look in my eyes, what do you see?
Not just the color
Look inside of me
Tell me all you need and I will try
I will try

I'm going to love you more than anyone
I'm going to hold you closer than before
And when I kiss your soul, your body'll be free
I'll be free for you anytime
I'm going to love you more than anyone

Free for you, whenever you need
We'll be free together, baby
Free together, baby

I'm going to love you more than anyone
I'm going to hold you closer than before
And when I kiss your soul, your body'll be free
I'll be free for anytime
I'm going to love you more than anyone

I'm going to love you more than anyone

Tue, 20 Sep 2005 02:05:03 GMT

I hate choo

Fri, 16 Sep 2005 02:00:35 GMT

This has to have been the worlds worst week. I don't think anything else bad could happen.

Seriously.